Ferris Wheel Scene in Sputnik Sweetheart

 When we talked about Sputnik Sweetheart the other day, most of the discussion regarding the Ferris wheel scene revolved around how Miu had schizophrenia, or how the scene was some kind of metaphysical experience. But for me, I read it as a portrayal of her trauma, specifically when she was sexually assaulted.

There’s a passage that captures the inner emotions that Miu was going through while she watched herself and the other man have sexual intercourse. She described the scene as “grotesquely exaggerated, [and] menacing,” and that she “felt like she was going to vomit.” Miu’s adverse reaction to this is heavier and more unsettling than usual because this sexual encounter is unlike any encounter she has had with other men. She mentions that they, the people engaged in the intercourse, were “deliberating showing her this scene,” like they "knew she was watching". And when Miu was about to realize that this sexual intercourse was not what it made itself out to be, she suddenly lost consciousness, like her mind shut down to protect her from the horrifying truth hidden beneath the surface.

With this new theory, it would explain so much why her hair suddenly turned white. She may have experienced what is called Marie Antoinnete syndrome, which is the sudden whitening of the hair due to excessive stress or trauma. If you combine that with her cuts, bloodied blouse, fragmented memory, and everything else that happened after she woke up, these are all possible indicators of sexual abuse.

Furthermore, the reference to the single mirror reinforces this reading of trauma. Miu says she could “never cross the boundary of that single pane of glass,” which implies she can’t return to her past self due to the trauma that has left her isolated from who she once was. This consequently led her to drop from her studies, her passion for piano, and even her sense of identity. 

Later, she says, “We never make love… I don’t want to touch him. I just don’t want to,” and follows with these lines, “What you see here isn’t really me. This is just a shadow of who I was.” These words demonstrate the aftermath of her trauma, further showing how it fractured her sense of self and left her emotionally hollow and devoid of love. 

Actually, now that I’m typing this, I realize that there was significant foreshadowing leading up to the Ferris wheel scene, with Miu wanting to leave town and the man calling her. Her repeated (almost desperate) desire to flee the town hints that she was trying to escape this “ominous shadow” (maybe the man?) that she felt was closing in on her. 

Anyway, I found this chapter really unnerving and heartbreaking. I don’t think I ever want to read this again just because of how depressing the chapter was.

Joline